Now listen, I am no fool, but when I heard, what I am getting ready to share with you my response was; "You're joking, RIGHT?!" Unfortunately and fortunately the person who spoke these words didn't crack a smile. She was dead serious! A seasoned wife sharing her take on marriage said
"The primary purpose of your marriage is to make you holy, not happy."
Close your mouth sweet wife. I can imagine your face being as perplexed as perplex comes! Mine was too! I really couldn't believe what I was hearing. HOLY? I'm just saying, who waits their whole life for Prince Charming only to find out he wasn't sent so they could ride off into the sunset together, he was sent to be sure her soul was right with God. I mean, I'm all for it! Lord knows I do not want my soul to be out of whack with Christ, but (insert pout and a stomp of the foot here) WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY IN MY MARRIAGE?!
See I made the mistake of thinking that holiness lacked joy, fun and well happiness. I am one of the wives who married my happily ever after before giving my life to Christ so my form happiness is all I knew to desire. I had a list of things that I could rattle off for my husband to do to make me "happy" because as the saying goes "happy wife, happy life" but being holy didn't make the final draft of that list! He could take me shopping, give me a few hours without the kids, tell me I was beautiful, give me foot rubs and back rubs... geesh I'm getting happy just thinking about those things. But Bible study on Date Night...nahh it's not what I had in mind.
But as you can see, my happiness and what I deemed would make for a happy life as a wife was all circumstantial. If my husband did certain external things, then I would be happy. I've come to learn that happiness is fleeting. You can literally go from happy to sad in the same moment but joy, joy comes when we are holy because joy is a gift from our holy God.
Does God care that you are happy? OF COURSE! Just look at your handsome husbands smile.... HELLO! But what He cares most about is the command that He gave your husband. God has commanded your boo to love you as Christ loves the church.... really HE DID!
That's a pretty tall order!
What I've come to learn about being made holy in my marriage is that the spotlight of heaven appears to be turned to it's brightest setting on ME, the wife. LOL! If my husband is out of whack and I'm complaining the Holy Spirit will often times show me that same behavior in myself.
Why? So I can repent and be made holy.
If my husband has to correct me in a situation and I'm about ready to say "talk to the hand", the Holy Spirit nudges me.
Why? So I can take the correction and be made holy.
As we are being made holy through circumstances in our marriage it won't always feel good, but the ultimate goal of God is that we are good, LIKE GOODER THAN GOOD! And in order to be gooder than good, we have to be washed with the water of the word of God.
Don't you want to be presented before God in glorious splendor? I do. My desire is that you do too.
So although the primary goal of our marriage is to make us Holy, God does not discount your happiness, it may just look a little different than what we are used to but trust and believe its so much better than what you're used to.
Ask God to show you how He's making you holy through your marriage and then pray for the grace to be washed so that you and your marriage can be transformed from the inside out!
Would you like to share how God is using your marriage to make you holy or join other wives for encouragement? Join the conversation over on Facebook at One DOPE Woman!
Listen You are the bomb dot com and if any ones tells you otherwise THEY'RE A LIAR!
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